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Fives
Started by Walter Boycechak




442 posts in this topic
Shteve
BUDGE AND NEILSON OUt

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07-10-2018, 02:14 PM -
#21
(07-10-2018, 01:56 PM)The Great Khali Wrote: TH 5s is a must jjay

Aye World Cup final slideymcghees are the worst.

I actually told a boy to shut the fuck up a few weeks ago. He was just Just running about screaming and getting all angry because we were getting beat. Like proper ott FUCK OOOOOOFFFFFs. Bairns playing on the pitch next to us too Cornette

My mate is like that, booting the walls and that Comical Ally he's pish so it's no wonder he gets angry tbf.
Acey
Honest ABE

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07-10-2018, 02:16 PM -
#22
Guys who scream FUCK OOOOOOF are such idiots. Warnock
(08-02-2018, 09:04 AM)Mags Wrote: The answer is Yes.

Shteve
BUDGE AND NEILSON OUt

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07-10-2018, 02:19 PM -
#23
My fives is actually really tame to how it used to be tbh. A lot of people (dirty bastards) have stopped playing so I've had a lot less bruises since.
Herzog
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07-10-2018, 02:38 PM -
#24
Always had this middle aged guy turn up against us up at Loanhead and we had to "watch his knees". As in dinnae tackle him. Cunt ran riot while we danced around him.

Monty Oh Well

pondlife
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07-10-2018, 03:31 PM -
#25
Last fives I played (with a bunch of lads I hadn't played with before) I had to use my old man's Umbros ... tied them as tight as fuck just to make those 'boats' feel loose. Don't think they were particularly impressed. Sob
Beni-Useful
Desperate Tatum

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07-10-2018, 06:18 PM -
#26
Be up for a Glasgow fives Quite Good
Monty Oh You
El Diego
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07-10-2018, 06:45 PM -
#27
(07-10-2018, 02:16 PM)Pharaoh Ramaceys II Wrote: Guys who scream FUCK OOOOOOF are such idiots. Warnock

Had an interesting evening at fives tonight, only recognised one guy who I’d played fives with before from work with the rest being people from the High Street office.

One boy kept screaming at himself every time he made a mistake calling himself a cunt Wiggo and a fat wank Titter

Had one guy in my team who clearly still fancied himself as a player, despite pushing 60 and having a waist line to match. He insisted on him and another guy picking the sides, and it was no surprise that I was second last pick for his team, and he then advises me that I look like I’d be a good defender. Laugh

He ran about like a man possessed for the first 10 minutes, while I went in goals first and assessed very quickly that the standard was utter dug meat barring a tall skinny lad in my team who had a bit of ability and knew where the goals were and the other boy who’d picked the teams was good too.

After he’d fucked himself running he proceeded to just stand in their half and scream for the ball while not moving more than a yard for any pass, he also couldn’t hit a coo on the arse with a banjo despite the goals being a bit wider than what I’m used to in my Thursday night game and people (myself included) scoring almost every time they got it on target.

My team ran out winners by about five or six, but the game ran out of steam with about fifteen minutes to go as the heat got the better of us.

Was very bizarre to be playing fives with the support acts from the Bruno Mars gig belting out their tunes in the background though, although it did make the drive home entertaining. Pinilla
This post was last modified: 07-10-2018, 06:47 PM by El Diego.
Acey
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07-10-2018, 06:53 PM -
#28
Glasgow TH v Embra TH with home and away legs. Pinilla
(08-02-2018, 09:04 AM)Mags Wrote: The answer is Yes.

Sarkozy
The Artist Formerly Known as Sarkozy

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07-10-2018, 06:56 PM -
#29
(07-10-2018, 06:53 PM)Pharaoh Ramaceys II Wrote: Glasgow TH v Embra TH with home and away legs. Pinilla

Winner stays on against Acey & Dok’s third-rate city/third-rate poster coalition.
Vieri
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07-10-2018, 06:59 PM -
#30
(07-10-2018, 01:06 PM)Snake Plissken Wrote: I enjoy my weekly game on a Sunday evening, all the oddballs in town from across the world assemble to play something which vaguely resembles football.   Monty Chuckle

There's an American guy who turns up most weeks who seems to think he's one of the 'senior' players, shouts a lot of nonsense at people and usually falls out with someone at least every other game. He's pish as well, no first touch whatsoever and does this weird stamping thing when he closes someone down which makes it really easy to just glide past him.

You ever get a player who does something genuinely great one minute and then looks like he's never seen a football in his life the next? One of our regulars is just like that, last Sunday saw him score a really good header and then miss an open goal from two yards out in the space of a minute. The most inconsistent player I've ever seen in my life and it's not week to week but minute to minute.

The guy who runs with the ball no matter what - a guy from Morocco dribbles no matter where he is on the pitch and he's not especially good at it, I've bagged a few goals just robbing him in his own box. Others will try to beat a man when simple passes are on.

The selfish cunt - never tracks back and shoots when an easy pass is on. Last week we were closing out a game and there was only one goal in it, they broke away with two players and one guy elected to shoot from a silly angle when his teammate had ran the full length of the pitch to support him after two hours in ridiculous humidity.

Who's scoring headers at fives ffs Warnock cunts swinging it into the box and that.

We've got a good work fives at the minute, most boys playing either juniors or decent level ammies which makes it pretty competitive. One guy's a keeper though which is a nightmare if you're on his side as you don't get a breather and invariably end up on the losing side.
Herman Boyce
It was a good laugh, wasn’t it?

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07-10-2018, 07:02 PM -
#31
On that note the boy who says he’s a keeper and never comes out goals Get To Woy
Shteve
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07-10-2018, 07:25 PM -
#32
(07-10-2018, 06:53 PM)Pharaoh Ramaceys II Wrote: Glasgow TH v Embra TH with home and away legs. Pinilla

I'd genuinely be up for that, would be laugh of sorts.
Zizou
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07-10-2018, 07:28 PM -
#33
You and vs can sort out a Bathgate scaffs select
El Diego
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07-10-2018, 07:31 PM -
#34
Titter
pondlife
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07-10-2018, 07:34 PM -
#35
(07-10-2018, 07:28 PM)Alan Partridge Wrote: You and vs can sort out a Bathgate scaffs select

Was wondering how they would be dealt with these two from the black hole.
The Great Craigy G
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07-10-2018, 07:41 PM -
#36
Get it organised somebody pls jjay
El Diego
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07-10-2018, 08:08 PM -
#37
(07-10-2018, 06:59 PM)Vieri Wrote: Who's scoring headers at fives ffs Warnock cunts swinging it into the box and that.

I’ve only scored two headers in my long and undistinguished fives career, one was a belter and one wasn’t, one was unintentional and one was meant, sadly the belter was entirely unintentional. Laugh

I was running towards the left side of the box expecting the ball being cut back for me to slot home, with a defender chasing after me, when I fell over my own feet and flew full length just as the ball was crossed in, it caught the side of my head as I flew through and ended up in the opposite corner.

Everyone around thought that I’d intentionally thrown myself at the cross and were praising me for the goal, whereas the harsh reality was that I’m a clumsy cunt and almost winded myself in the process. Warnock

I still haven’t confessed to them that it wasn’t meant.  Monty Chuckle
This post was last modified: 07-10-2018, 08:09 PM by El Diego.
Walter Boycechak
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07-10-2018, 10:46 PM -
#38
If we play a glasgow leg, would have to be at soccer world off the M8 as they have that tennents T5 that records your highlights lowlights. Warnock
Johnny
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07-10-2018, 11:08 PM -
#39
Not played in forever and really miss. Too unfit now tbh. Never any good tbf but a tryer. 2 feet though, which is dece. I've never gotten folk who are totally 1 footed. Yeah 1 stronger than the other but like at least you can roll it 10 yards with the weaker. Folk that cant even do that are total wiggo. One of the things that drives me insane about the pros. If a fat mongo like me can do it how can someone whos fucking job is a football player not do it Laugh

I always like to start in nets, im awful in there, but then you get to see whats around

Used to play every Thursday with work with loads of different abilities, was good, you'd get a laugh but you'd get a good game

Played on a Sunday with my brothers mates and fucking hated it cause they had 1 guy who was just a goalie and you'd be fucked if you're on his team cause he'd not come out. No good for an unfit mess like masel. And another guy who was fucking pony, like the worst player I've ever seen, but the fittest guy ever. So he would just hoof it at the goals, hit the wall but be first to the rebound and that. And he was one of these screamers and takes it super serious

Not shy of a selfish shot or the odd dirty tackle if I'm being 100 percent honest. Mind when I played with my bro there was a guy who came along who played juniors and he was miles better than everybody else. Wee fast guy who was silky as fuck. But the boy was a fucking walloper. Mind one week he had me 1v1 out wide and he beat me, fine, but then he cut back and done it again like 3 times so thats it up in the air ye go cunto, screaming. 2 feet as hard as I could. Theres no need to take the utter cunt out of someone like that. No regrets either as the boy was a prick. If he'd been sound I'd say that was too far but even away from the park he was a bellend
This post was last modified: 07-10-2018, 11:11 PM by Johnny.
Mikey
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07-11-2018, 03:00 AM -
#40
Megging Acey relentlessly would be my number 1 priority.



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