***HERTZ PREDICTIONS 2021-22***

[2,877]

1. Hearts will finish ______ in the cinch Scottish Premier League (in assocation with cinch).

2. Hearts will win _______ derby/derbies.

3. Hearts will take ______ points off Rangers.

4. Hearts will take _______ points off Celtic.

5. Hearts will win _______ away league games.

6. John Souttar will miss _______ league games through injury.

7. Ann Budge will release _______ official club statements.

8. The best moment of the season will be _______.

9. The worst moment of the season will be _______.

10. Hearts' top scorer will be _______ with _______ goals.

11. Hearts' Player of the Season will be _______.

12. Money-Spinning Moment of the Season will be _______.

[2,877]

1. Hearts will finish 7th in the cinch Scottish Premier League (in assocation with cinch).

2. Hearts will win 1 derby.

3. Hearts will take 0 points off Rangers.

4. Hearts will take 1 point off Celtic.

5. Hearts will win 5 away league games.

6. John Souttar will miss 8 league games through injury.

7. Ann Budge will release 8 official club statements.

8. The best moment of the season will be Ginnelly's winner in the derby.

9. The worst moment of the season will be Halliday's needless red card as we chase the game in a different derby.

10. Hearts' top scorer will be Boyce with 11 goals.

11. Hearts' Player of the Season will be Ginnelly.

12. Money-Spinning Moment of the Season will be the Skyline Restaurant winning its first Michelin Star.

[169]

1. Hearts will finish 5th in the cinch Scottish Premier League (in assocation with cinch).

2. Hearts will win 1 derby

3. Hearts will take 1 points off Rangers.

4. Hearts will take 3 points off Celtic.

5. Hearts will win 7 away league games.

6. John Souttar will miss 12 league games through injury.

7. Ann Budge will release 3 official club statements.

8. The best moment of the season will be beating hibs at ER. 

9. The worst moment of the season will be losing to hibs at tynie. 

10. Hearts' top scorer will be Boyce with 13 goals.

11. Hearts' Player of the Season will be Boyce

12. Money-Spinning Moment of the Season will be the league cup away game at The Knew camp

[998]

1. Hearts will finish 8th in the cinch Scottish Premier League (in assocation with cinch).

2. Hearts will win 1 derby/derbies.

3. Hearts will take 0 points off Rangers.

4. Hearts will take 0 points off Celtic.

5. Hearts will win 4 away league games.

6. John Souttar will miss 17 league games through injury.

7. Ann Budge will release 8 official club statements.

8. The best moment of the season will be scoring an injury time winner at the Toni Macaroni to seal 8th.

9. The worst moment of the season will be losing to a lower league side in the Scottish.

10. Hearts' top scorer will be Liam Boyce with 12 goals.

11. Hearts' Player of the Season will be Craig Gordon.

12. Money-Spinning Moment of the Season will be whatever tat we release to commemorate 10 years of 5-1 #nltf.

[517]

1. Hearts will finish 4th in the cinch Scottish Premier League (in assocation with cinch).

2. Hearts will win 3 derby/derbies.

3. Hearts will take 0 points off Rangers.

4. Hearts will take 3 points off Celtic.

5. Hearts will win 7 away league games.

6. John Souttar will miss 5 league games through injury.

7. Ann Budge will release 11 official club statements.

8. The best moment of the season will be Halliday winner at the Dunbar end against hibs.

9. The worst moment of the season will be reading Cammos posts after our first defeat

10. Hearts' top scorer will be Boyce with 17 goals.

11. Hearts' Player of the Season will be Gordon.

12. Money-Spinning Moment of the Season will be our 4th round Scottish cup tie at a full Ibrox

[2,877]

12. Money-Spinning Moment of the Season will be whatever tat we release to commemorate 10 years of 5-1 #nltf.

Excellent shout.

Ten years.

[998]

Positive Dred

Would bite your hand off for all of that

[928]

Amazing energy/optimism Acey/folks.


tbh I should really stay away from the Hearts-based stuff.

[511]

1. Hearts will finish 6th in the cinch Scottish Premier League (in assocation with cinch).

2. Hearts will win 2 derby/derbies.

3. Hearts will take 1 points off Rangers.

4. Hearts will take 1 points off Celtic.

5. Hearts will win 4 away league games.

6. John Souttar will miss 21 league games through injury.

7. Ann Budge will release 14 official club statements.

8. The best moment of the season will be Beating Hibs at Easter Road.

9. The worst moment of the seasonlosing to a lower league side in the Scottish Cup.

10. Hearts' top scorer will be Boyce with 13 goals.

11. Hearts' Player of the Season will be Craig Gordon.

12. Money-Spinning Moment of the Season will be a full house for the April derby.


Another season of mediocrity awaits.

[1,218]

1. Hearts will finish 5th in the cinch Scottish Premier League (in assocation with cinch).

2. Hearts will win 3 derby/derbies.

3. Hearts will take 3 points off Rangers.

4. Hearts will take 4 points off Celtic.

5. Hearts will win 7 away league games.

6. John Souttar will miss 0 league games through injury.

7. Ann Budge will release 6 official club statements.

8. The best moment of the season will be Beating Hibs and Celtic.

9. The worst moment of the season will be SC quarter final defeat against Motherwell/Dundee United etc.

10. Hearts' top scorer will be Boyce with 22 goals.

11. Hearts' Player of the Season will be John Souttar.

12. Money-Spinning Moment of the Season will be, fuck knows numerous shitey things that nobody cares about

[225]

1. Hearts will finish _Second Bottom_____ in the cinch Scottish Premier League (in assocation with cinch).

2. Hearts will win 0 derby/derbies.

3. Hearts will take 0 points off Rangers.

4. Hearts will take 0 points off Celtic.

5. Hearts will win 1 away league games.

6. John Souttar will miss 17 league games through injury.

7. Ann Budge will release 1 official club statements.

8. The best moment of the season will be one minute before kick off against Celtic at Tynecastle on the 31st July.

9. The worst moment of the season will be Budge staying on.

10. Hearts' top scorer will be Boyce with 9 goals.

11. Hearts' Player of the Season will be Gordon.

12. Money-Spinning Moment of the Season will be non existent.

[1,227]

1. Hearts will finish 5th in the cinch Scottish Premier League (in assocation with cinch).

2. Hearts will win 2 derby/derbies.

3. Hearts will take 1 point off Rangers.

4. Hearts will take 4 points off Celtic.

5. Hearts will win 9  away league games.

6. John Souttar will miss 18 league games through injury.

7. Ann Budge will release 14 official club statements.

8. The best moment of the season will be Gnandullet scoring against the Hibbys.

9. The worst moment of the season will be Scottish Cup exit.

10. Hearts' top scorer will be Boyce with 13 goals.

11. Hearts' Player of the Season will be Beni.

12. Money-Spinning Moment of the Season will be no idea.

[766]

1. Hearts will finish fifth in the cinch Scottish Premier League (in assocation with cinch).

2. Hearts will win 2 derbies.

3. Hearts will take 1 point off Rangers.

4. Hearts will take 4 points off Celtic.

5. Hearts will win 6 away league games.

6. John Souttar will miss 10 league games through injury.

7. Ann Budge will release an unnecessary amount official club statements.

8. The best moment of the season will be a derby victory.

9. The worst moment of the season will be beaten by hibs at tynecastle.

10. Hearts' top scorer will be Liam Boyce with 16 goals.

11. Hearts' Player of the Season will be Liam Boyce.

12. Money-Spinning Moment of the Season will be a draw on the final pre-split game to stumble into the top 6.

[377]

1. Hearts will finish 8th/9th.

2. Hearts will win 0 derbies.

3. Hearts will take 0 points off Rangers.

4. Hearts will take 0 points off Celtic.

5. Hearts will win shree away league games.

6. John Souttar will miss 20 league games through injury.

7. Ann Budge will release 10 official club statements.

8. The best moment of the season will be Whistlers sacking.

9. The worst moment of the season will be Whistler not being sacked until March.

10. Hearts' top scorer will be Boyce with 9 goals.

11. Hearts' Player of the Season will be Craig Gordon

12. Money-Spinning Moment of the Season will be the Scottish cup replay against Selkirk.

[1,628]

Love you Winnie

[924]

1. Hearts will finish _10th___ in the cinch Scottish Premier League (in assocation with cinch).

2. Hearts will win __0_____ derby/derbies.

3. Hearts will take ___1___ points off Rangers.

4. Hearts will take ___1____ points off Celtic.

5. Hearts will win _3______ away league games.

6. John Souttar will miss ___25____ league games through injury.

7. Ann Budge will release ___10+____ official club statements.

8. The best moment of the season will be ___Nielson emptied____.

9. The worst moment of the season will be __Wee Naisy taking over_____.

10. Hearts' top scorer will be __Walker_____ with ____7___ goals.

11. Hearts' Player of the Season will be _Craig Gordon______.

12. Money-Spinning Moment of the Season will be _"Promoting" internally, Naismith into Neilson's seat, saving cash______.

[1,003]

1. Hearts will finish ____7th__ in the cinch Scottish Premier League (in assocation with cinch).

2. Hearts will win ____2___ derby/derbies.

3. Hearts will take ___0___ points off Rangers.

4. Hearts will take ___3____ points off Celtic.

5. Hearts will win ___5____ away league games.

6. John Souttar will miss ___6____ league games through injury.

7. Ann Budge will release ___7____ official club statements.

8. The best moment of the season will be __Neilson eventually being sacked_____.

9. The worst moment of the season will be ____Budge bringing back Levein___.

10. Hearts' top scorer will be ___Boyce____ with ___14____ goals.

11. Hearts' Player of the Season will be ___Gordon____.

12. Money-Spinning Moment of the Season will be ___Kickback crowdfunding a Queen Ann statue project____.

[1,711]

1. Hearts will finish 5th in the cinch Scottish Premier League (in assocation with cinch).

2. Hearts will win 3 derby/derbies.

3. Hearts will take 3 points off Rangers.

4. Hearts will take 3 points off Celtic.

5. Hearts will win 7 away league games.

6. John Souttar will miss 7 league games through injury.

7. Ann Budge will release 14 official club statements.

8. The best moment of the season will be beating Hibs 4-0 on the 12th of September.

9. The worst moment of the season will be nothing to play for by the start of March.

10. Hearts' top scorer will be Boyce with 11 goals.

11. Hearts' Player of the Season will be Souttar.

12. Money-Spinning Moment of the Season will be copying Hanks because that is a nap . annb

[1,572]

1. Hearts will finish 7th in the cinch Scottish Premier League (in assocation with cinch).

2. Hearts will win 1 derby

3. Hearts will take 1 points off Rangers.

4. Hearts will take 3 points off Celtic.

5. Hearts will win 4 away league games.

6. John Souttar will miss 23 league games through injury.

7. Ann Budge will release 8 official club statements.

8. The best moment of the season will be stirring 2-1 win against Hibs with a late goal on September 4th, bringing us to 4th in the table (as a function of everyone else being terrible) and reigniting our hopes of a decent season. Finally Beni looks half decent.

9. The worst moment of the season will be losing 3-0 away to Ross County the following week, dropping to 7th in the table and never rising to the top 6 again. Beni gives away a penalty so ridiculous it goes viral, gets sent off in the process, and doesn’t play again until we loan him to Rushden and Diamonds in January..

10. Hearts' top scorer will be Boyce with 9 goals.

11. Hearts' Player of the Season will be Gordon.

12. Money-Spinning Moment of the Season will be what Hank said.

[169]

Whistler 

That’s a fucker